Married to the Military

J picked up a new class this past Saturday. This basically means I will rarely see my husband for the next thirty-three days. J is an instructor at the Coast Guard Chief's Academy. He had the last class off (just had to teach) and I got used to having him around. But I am thankful that I get to see him every night.

Being married to a military man is definitely different. J has been in thirteen years now and we have been together for ten of them. He has been on a boat for five of them. During these five years, J was gone six-eight months each year. It sucks. Even more now that we have kids.

We should be leaving here in 2010 and J will most likely be going back to a boat. He only has seven years left before he can potentially retire. So, leaving here and going to a two-year boat will leave us with three years, hopefully on land and even more hopefully in North Carolina. Of course, J is talking about staying in twenty-five, possibly thirty years. We'll see. If he retires at twenty years, the boys will be fourteen and ten. That sounds like a perfect time to get out.

Somehow things always work out...

Yesterday was Turtle's 7th B-day party. I have been dreading it for weeks. His birthday was actually August 6th, but he wanted everyone from school to come. So, we decided to wait until after school started (August 25) and then work around J's schedule and what the skate park had available.

I swear I will never ignore an RSVP ever again (I don't think I ever have, but just in case!) We invited twenty boys (Turtle only wanted boys) and only eight responded. Nine showed up. I didn't know how many were coming, so I had twenty treat bags, water bottles, plates, etc. It was a pain in the ass.

On the upside, the number we had was perfect. Twenty kids would have been way too many. We had the party at Ramp Rats , a big indoor skatepark in Petaluma. Turtle loves going there, but it's usually full of older kids who run him over. We were able to rent out the whole place for two hours just for Turtle and his friends. Even Frog was able to skate. We were supposed to have an instructor show up because I thought the kids would be bored after a while and need someone to get them back skating. Well, the instructor never showed up. But, again, it worked out fine. The kids skated the whole two hours and wanted to go more after cake and presents. Even talking to the parents didn't kill me

I don't think this will be an every year (or even every other year) event, but I'm glad we did it. The boys had a blast and that is all that matters.

School Ramblings

When we took Turtle to school this morning, it was 46 degrees outside. In September. It's not supposed to be 46 degrees in September. Do you know how cold that is? Before we moved out here, I didn't think the weather would affect me so much. I am not a cold-weather person at all. It is miserable. What's worse is I feel lied to...betrayed. California is supposed to be warm and sunny. Nice beaches. Palm trees. Well, let me break that illusion for you...it's not. At least, it's not up here in northern California. Here it's cold all year long, except for about three weeks at the end of August/beginning of September. But even then, it was chilly in the mornings and at night. I guess I didn't pay enough attention in Geography class. Yes, Oregon is cold and wet. Guess what? Northern California is right next to Oregon. I guess it never clicked in my head that the climates would be similar.

It is beautiful, though...

Speaking of school, I am in the middle of two online classes: medical terminology/anatomy and cultural anthropology. I am really disappointed in the anthropology class. I have been waiting for this class to open up and was so excited when I started it, but it is not what I expected. I haven't really learned anything from it that I didn't already know. Basically, I'm just memorizing vocabulary words for the tests. On the other hand, I really like the medical terminology class. I was surprised at how much I already knew. The words are all like little puzzles that you take apart to find out the meaning. For example: "arthr" means joint and "itis" means inflammation. Hence, "arthritis" means an inflammation of the joint.

I'm still not sure how I feel about online classes. These are the fifth and sixth online classes I have taken. Basically, you just read the textbook, take a few quizzes, two exams, and maybe write a paper or two. That's it. The instructors don't really teach anything; just answer any questions you might have. I just don't feel like I'm learning anything. Maybe that will change when I start taking upper level classes. Good news is I only have two classes left (after the current two I am taking) and I will have my long-awaited associates degree. I have been working on this since 1996, so twelve years now. Granted, I haven't been working really hard on it. We move a lot, so I take classes here and there. Of course, between working, the boys, and J's work schedule, it's never been a good time for me to really go to school. So, online classes work well right now. I wish I could go to a real school for my last two years, but I don't see it happening.

In other school related news, Turtle is doing well so far in first grade. He still has trouble with language arts, but he is actually reading a little now. He has a list of sight words he knows and he is starting to figure out how to sound out new words. Math is still coming really easily to him. His teacher even said that "math is his thing!" I'm glad he has something that he is really good at. It boosts his self-esteem so much. Now if we could stop the talking in class, we'd be doing great! Friends are still the most important thing, though, so I have a feeling this is going to be a problem for a long time.

Frog is starting to freak me out with his math skills. When he was two, he was already counting...and I don't just mean by rote. He loved to count objects and line them up, take some away, and then re-count. Now he is doing it in his head. He'll just look at something and say "there are five cars on the table" without counting them out loud first.

I'm glad my boys seem to like math. I watched how J and other members of my family have struggled with math over the years and I was worried the boys would have trouble, too. But so far, so good.

In a little bit, I have to head out to the store. Somehow I volunteered to bring in snack for Turtle's class to celebrate his b-day tomorrow. Yes, I know his b-day was in August, but it's a long story I will share later.

OCD - But Not the Good Kind

Over the last couple of years, I have decided I have OCD. I have since I was a kid. I always thought that the only people with OCD were the ones that wash their hands repeatedly, counted all the time, or were germaphobes. Well, they are, but there are all sorts of levels of OCD. Luckily, I have it pretty mild. As in, it doesn't really affect the quality of my life.

Here are some of the signs I used to self-diagnose:

1. I like things to be even. If I scuff my left foot as I'm walking, I have to purposely scuff my right foot.

2. When I find a subject I am interested in, I become obsessive about it. I want to own every book about the subject and I will spend hours looking up information about it on the internet.

3. Certain things have specific places that they belong in. For instance, my dishes. Brown bowls on the right, white bowls in the middle, plastic bowls on the left. Glasses and coffee cups on the middle shelf, plastic cups and sippy cups on the bottom shelf. J does not follow this and will mix them all up. I can't unload a clean load of dishes from the dishwasher without going through all the cabinets and straightening them out.

4. If something belongs in a set, I want every piece that goes in the set. I am really bad about this with the boys' toys. If they want one Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, I am not happy until they have every turtle, bad guy, weapon, vehicle, etc. I had a really bad moment last year when I found the last pirate Turtle needed to complete the Pirates of the Carribbean set. He wasn't really into pirates any more and didn't want it. I actually yelled at him and told him he had to get it. I felt so bad and apologized and let him get the toy he wanted, but, to this day, it still bothers me that he is missing one of the pirates.

5. I have routines. I have an order in the shower I follow. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, shave, rinse hair, rinse body. If I do something out of order, I am messed up for the rest of the day. I brush my teeth the same way.

6. I do not like food on my face. I have to have a napkin when I eat and I wipe after almost every bite. I don't like my hands to be sticky.

7. This one I blame on my mother. I constantly check/fix my eyebrows. Growing up, she was constantly telling me to fix my eyebrows or doing it for me.

8. I'm not sure if this is OCD, more of a sensory issue, or another quirk from my mom, but I don't like shoes or socks. I go barefoot almost all the time. I also don't like hats, glasses, gloves, or long-sleeves. Pants are okay for some reason.

I have plenty of other ones, but these are the most obvious ones. I've watched specials on TV about OCD and I'm glad I have it so mild. For some people, OCD rules their lives. They can't leave the house unless their routines are followed perfectly or their counting is right. I had a friend who used to wash her hands until they were red and raw (she has it under control now, but she said it was really bad when she was younger.)

Oh, and if you're wondering about my thread title...no, I'm not joking or trying to make light of OCD, but if I have to have it, why can't I have the cleaning kind? J would love it if I was obsessive about a clean house. He doesn't understand that if things aren't just right, I can't clean. If the dishes aren't in the sink just right, I can't just go in and wash them. They have to be rinsed out and everything together (all the silverware in one cup, all the bowls and plates stacked together, etc.) Or laundry. If everything is sorted by color, I can throw it in the washer, but if everything is just dumped together I can't. I even got colored laundry baskets to help. Pink basket for reds/pinks/oranges, blue basket for jeans/blues, etc. He still just tosses his clothes into whichever one is closer. I can make myself do the chore, but it is miserable.

Speaking of...I have a sink full of dishes, but since J is away for a few days they are all put in there right. So, now I can go do them.

CIO...Makes Me Cry

Yes, I am one of those mothers. I let my children sleep in bed with me. They have since they were born. In fact, J got yelled at by a nurse in Key West when we were sleeping with Frog the night he was born. I love my hubby...he told the nurse that it was his child and he would sleep with him despite what she said.

We had good intentions with Turtle *snort!* He had a nursery room all set up...crib, changing table, the works. We even painted the walls (in a military house, so that should tell you something.) Guess how many nights he slept in it? About 20 minutes. Nope, he didn't even make it one night. The changing table never got used either, but that's another story. Poor Frog didn't get a nursery room at all. He never even had a crib.

It just seems so unnatural to me for someone not to sleep with their child. A baby is with you for nine months...he hears your heartbeat, your voice, all the noises around you. He's warm and comfortable. He's never alone. And then after he is born, you throw him into an empty room by himself and expect him to soothe himself to sleep. This just seems cruel to me and goes against every mothering instinct I have. I want to comfort my children and snuggle with them.

The US is one of the few countries who has separate places for parents and children to sleep. I don't know if it is selfishness on the parent's part or if they think they are helping their children become "independent."

I keep hearing "if you let them sleep with you, they'll never leave." Do people really think their kids will be in their bed until college? Turtle left our bed for his own when he was four years old. Frog is three years old now and is starting to show signs of leaving. Both of my boys are wonderful sleepers. Neither have nightmares (and if you saw the movies they watch, you'd be surprised), they sleep through the night. And most importantly, when they are tired, they go to bed!

The reason I brought this topic up is because on some of the message boards I belong to CIO has been brought up a lot lately. For those who don't know, CIO means "cry it out." You put your child in his crib and leave him there to cry until he falls asleep. Supposedly, each night he is supposed to cry a little bit less until finally he doesn't cry anymore. Then it is considered a success. To me, it is more like the child has given up. He trusted his mother (or father) to come and comfort him, but eventually he realizes that they won't come. It's like he has been abandoned and defeated. I read these posts where the mothers are proud that their child "only" cried ten minutes that night. I just want to snatch their children up and cuddle them. I seriously feel sad for them. I want to say something to them, but my views are not very popular. I don't think anyone wants to be told that they might be wrong and I don't want to start any arguments.

I am not looking forward to when Frog leaves the bed and I still miss having Turtle in there. When J's away, sometimes Turtle will come in bed with Frog and I, but not very often. I can't wait until we have baby #3 so our bed will be full again. Thank goodness we have a king-size!!

Did hell feeze over?

Am I really posting two days in a row? Woohoo, must be a record!



So, I thought I would write about the bad experience I had this morning. First let me show you my new baby...




Yes, it is a Vita-Mix 5000! I have wanted one for years! Literally. I think I first found out about them when I was pregnant with Turtle, so at least eight years ago. Unfortunately, they cost way more than I could justify on a blender. I really like making green smoothies (more on them in a bit) and I've gone through three blenders over the last four years. So, when we saw this guy sitting in the Exchange last week, J said I could have him. I was a little wary, but it was too good of a price to pass up. So, home he came. And I have used him, at least once, every day since (another record!!)


If you've never heard of a green smoothie, it is basically a regular smoothie with some type of greens added to it. My favorite was always frozen strawberries, a banana, some yogurt or kefir, and a couple of handfuls of spinach. While it looks kind of gross (a murky green color), it tastes great and it's very healthy for you. Sadly, it ate up the motors on my late blenders. But now with my Vita-Mix, I can make them all I want!


Now on to my bad experience this morning...I've been trying to branch out and make new smoothie combinations. Most of them taste good, some are edible, but today's almost made me sick...really I was gagging over the trash can. Never, ever, ever mix a pear, carrots, a banana, apple juice, and parsley. I still have the taste in my mouth...ugh!


So, that is my Public Service Announcement of the day. Now I'm off to brush my teeth again!

I had every intention of posting. I meant to post. I thought about it. I even had half a post written out before my internet went out on Friday. I guess I am going to be a little less ambitious and promise to write at least once a week.

Hmm, what has happened since the 27th? Honestly, not much. I'm a SAHM (stay at home mom) with one kid in school and a very independent kid at home. Frog enjoys playing on his own most of the time, so I am left to myself. I play on the computer, read a little, try to clean the house. Nothing really exciting.

I have started writing the book I have been putting off for a while. It's going to be a YA novel about a girl who follows around her uncle on achaeological digs. At least, that's the plot for now. I'm sure it will change a little.

So, that's my in-depth post of the day. Now it's time to conquer the pile of dishes in my sink.