Wednesday, September 17, 2008

OCD - But Not the Good Kind


Over the last couple of years, I have decided I have OCD. I have since I was a kid. I always thought that the only people with OCD were the ones that wash their hands repeatedly, counted all the time, or were germaphobes. Well, they are, but there are all sorts of levels of OCD. Luckily, I have it pretty mild. As in, it doesn't really affect the quality of my life.

Here are some of the signs I used to self-diagnose:

1. I like things to be even. If I scuff my left foot as I'm walking, I have to purposely scuff my right foot.

2. When I find a subject I am interested in, I become obsessive about it. I want to own every book about the subject and I will spend hours looking up information about it on the internet.

3. Certain things have specific places that they belong in. For instance, my dishes. Brown bowls on the right, white bowls in the middle, plastic bowls on the left. Glasses and coffee cups on the middle shelf, plastic cups and sippy cups on the bottom shelf. J does not follow this and will mix them all up. I can't unload a clean load of dishes from the dishwasher without going through all the cabinets and straightening them out.

4. If something belongs in a set, I want every piece that goes in the set. I am really bad about this with the boys' toys. If they want one Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, I am not happy until they have every turtle, bad guy, weapon, vehicle, etc. I had a really bad moment last year when I found the last pirate Turtle needed to complete the Pirates of the Carribbean set. He wasn't really into pirates any more and didn't want it. I actually yelled at him and told him he had to get it. I felt so bad and apologized and let him get the toy he wanted, but, to this day, it still bothers me that he is missing one of the pirates.

5. I have routines. I have an order in the shower I follow. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, shave, rinse hair, rinse body. If I do something out of order, I am messed up for the rest of the day. I brush my teeth the same way.

6. I do not like food on my face. I have to have a napkin when I eat and I wipe after almost every bite. I don't like my hands to be sticky.

7. This one I blame on my mother. I constantly check/fix my eyebrows. Growing up, she was constantly telling me to fix my eyebrows or doing it for me.

8. I'm not sure if this is OCD, more of a sensory issue, or another quirk from my mom, but I don't like shoes or socks. I go barefoot almost all the time. I also don't like hats, glasses, gloves, or long-sleeves. Pants are okay for some reason.

I have plenty of other ones, but these are the most obvious ones. I've watched specials on TV about OCD and I'm glad I have it so mild. For some people, OCD rules their lives. They can't leave the house unless their routines are followed perfectly or their counting is right. I had a friend who used to wash her hands until they were red and raw (she has it under control now, but she said it was really bad when she was younger.)

Oh, and if you're wondering about my thread title...no, I'm not joking or trying to make light of OCD, but if I have to have it, why can't I have the cleaning kind? J would love it if I was obsessive about a clean house. He doesn't understand that if things aren't just right, I can't clean. If the dishes aren't in the sink just right, I can't just go in and wash them. They have to be rinsed out and everything together (all the silverware in one cup, all the bowls and plates stacked together, etc.) Or laundry. If everything is sorted by color, I can throw it in the washer, but if everything is just dumped together I can't. I even got colored laundry baskets to help. Pink basket for reds/pinks/oranges, blue basket for jeans/blues, etc. He still just tosses his clothes into whichever one is closer. I can make myself do the chore, but it is miserable.

Speaking of...I have a sink full of dishes, but since J is away for a few days they are all put in there right. So, now I can go do them.

No comments: